Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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