i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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