I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
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i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
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Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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