I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
then he tried to convert me to islam
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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