u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
