Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
