she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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