and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
