ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
