Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
