You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
