Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
