I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
