The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
