Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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