Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize