What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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