I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
