I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.