May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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