never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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