i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize