i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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