I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize