she smelled like a LAN party
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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