I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
