bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm passing your future prison.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
