I'm jealous of your bromance
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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