i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
