Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
