Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
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She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
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My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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