Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
