Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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