Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
