I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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