I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
bring money and cleavage
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
