Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
