she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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