are you so shy because you have an std?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
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On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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