i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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