Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
