I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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