Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We named our party play list daddy issues
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
