I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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