do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
