I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He did a backflip because drugs
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
