bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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