And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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