i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.