So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
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I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve