I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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