Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
