Quick, to the slutcave!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
