And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
