I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
