I'm going to rape someone's good day.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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