That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
