Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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