i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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