got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
