her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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