yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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